there are lots of cases happen during 2011...study, family, relationship, career,frienship,argument and others...
i almost forgot i still have a blog in this blogspot until i break the relationship with u...full of courage and confidentduring the year of 2011...
2011, i remain work in pusat bahasa titian jaya as a part timer, but i end my part time life around october 2011, all of this is because of u... i felt the difficulties while working in this company, do u know why?
1st - your attitude cause lots of ppl talk badly behind u but u just ignore what other ppl think, u don ever realise what should u do to change the situation
2nd - ur career start to become unstable n unsecure since february 2011, but time change nothing on you...but i begin to talkless but u remain ur situation
3rd - we keep argue on the same person, don't u noe how hurt am i, u hv ady hurt me for more than 2 years... since i to be with u, i wait and wait u to care my feeling and secure my feeling, but... the conclusion told me that i seems like a stupid girl waiting for nothing... it's enough for me... i felt sad deeply..i start not to give any excuse for myself to wait for any changes... because i noe no matter how i do, i wont get what i want at the end... there are no reason for me to wait again...
4th - my life getting worst instead of improvement, my requirement is toimprove my life depend on such relationship, but it seems to improve nothing in this 2 years... i think u may be getting worst compare to the years before u to be with me...
i read back the blog i wrote last time, that include much of our problem since we're together, until now we're seperate... try to ask myself, is the problem remain? my answer is YES. i shouldn't help u much, it cause u become dependent, no confident, no self dicipline, low time management..
no matter how well u treat me, the entire well is just remain for grace period but not future, i'm very emphasize in our future, but the whole action you did was dissappointed for me (drunk,gamble,lack of energy to work,fully utilise the time for entertainment than working) try to imagine, is this ur life? if this is ur life, im so sorry to said that, i'm not the suitable person to enjoy this kind of life... this pattern of life is meaningless for me...i start to expect nothing from u since 2011 after u left CES and start ur property agent...i understand time shoouldnt be too systematic sometime, but it is neccessary for most of the time but not all the time... but keep the time move randomly is just wasting the time... conclusion is... u are the one..
sometimes my feeling is... ur fully utilising what i hv and i could... i said i can help u doesnt mean i must help u, that's different thing,pls remember, im not ur mate, u din paid me any single sens,somemore i din demand anything on you...therefore,, i only can said that, everything is enough for me... how long i endure = how long i should take my rest... i've ady try my best... don blame and no recover could be discuss anymore
The year of 2012,January 19 is the last day to be with u...the minute i decide to break with u, i felt nothing, tears finished, sadness gameover, what kind of release it is, there is a grace period i felt happy in my inner heart... i also would like to ask what happen to me.. how can i feel nothing in this situation... the most curious feeling i've were so unbelieveable... but i'm concious to tell myself... i get back my freedom to be myself again... i'm happy to be like this honestly...hahaha
i begin to feel myself as a cold blooded, but anyway, i remain my happiness... this is the most important for me and my family... if u want to say i'm the most selfish person in the world, i don mind and totally don care... because i don think there are something could influence my feeling and decision... i choose the best for myself is to protect myself, thus, nothing wrong could u talk against me...
Even though i said there is a chance for u.. but pls remember, the chance is open for everyone but not only u.. u uses to hv the chance, but pls tell me, how appreciate u're?hv u ever appreciated it? if u say yes, that are impossible for me to feel nothing... material couldn't fulfill everything, if u thing so, i could only tell u, that's just a naif thinking in ur mind..
i feel happy since we're not together, i want to remain like this compare to last time be a stupid waiting for nothing...
Regard - CITC 02/08/12,13.34pm
